Monday…..The Buck Stops Here

Rows: 2 (but low level)
Coffee: 2
Wine: Nil…but took willpower of Aung San Suu Kyi
Decibels: 30 (Like Black Adder reasoning with the troops before they go ‘over the top’)

Today looks set to be one of negotiation. Battle lines are already being drawn up and it's only 830am. Monday normally means my diplomatic skills are somewhere between Attila the Hun and Cruella DeVille but today it's time to ditch the dalmatian coat, put on a mask of the Dalai Lama and try and get the week off to a good start.

As much as I love my kids and enjoy them as friends, I regularly have to pull the Mum card. You know, the ‘do your room, no you’re not going out until 11pm on a school night and unload the dishwasher NOW’ card. Because as much as I like them, as much as we get on like a house on fire, I am Mummy Dearest before anything else.

Same goes for The Office. Running my own business I mostly get to choose the people I work with. Arguably I spend more time with the Employees than I do with The Family so it’s nice that we are friendly. But before anything else, I am Managing Director. And I regularly have to pull the ‘where are the reports, I think you’ll find that’s in your job description and why are you late’ card.

As MD’s, the skill we have is to see all the pieces of the jigsaw. Individual decisions, taken in isolation, may not make sense to the person they are communicated to. And we don’t have time (nor inclination) to explain the why’s and where fors. Family and Employees have to trust that your judgement is fair and understand these decisions are made as part of a bigger picture. Of course, this is how I see it. The Teenagers think I have the volatility of the Eyjafjallajokull volcano and the Employees think I have the temperament of Stalin on a benevolent day. Although that may be something to do with my new moustache.

So when Daughter is told that, no, Boyf can’t stay over midweek, she riles at the injustice. But I see no sleep for her, then two days of knackered Teenager before she limps to her weekend lie in, which impacts on her college work, the general ambience of the home etc, etc.

Similarly, when Controller changes his work mobile phone number due to his stalker ex-girlfriend, he is somewhat perturbed when I take him to task. He sees the phone number as the issue – I see the new business cards we have just had printed, the 24 hour divert which is programmed to his old number and the 20 clients that have his number if our rural phone lines go down.

My job is to see the bigger picture. I do try to lead by co-alition and negotiation but in the end I am a bit like David Cameron (minus the Eton upbringing and smug expression on his noticeably hairless chin). We have to work together but the buck stops with me, a decisive hirsute leader. That also means it’s my fault if it all goes tits up. Be warned, David. Luckily 90% of the time I get it right. The other 10% is fuel for this column!